{"title":"Archive","description":"\u003cp\u003eGoods the Ministry once issued or released, now withdrawn from circulation and retained for the record. Their release windows have closed. They are reproduced for reference only and are not available for acquisition.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"archive-suggestion-box-print","title":"Commemorative Print: The Suggestion Box","description":"\u003cp\u003eA print commemorating the Ministry Suggestion Box, installed in the east lobby to\ncollect staff feedback and opened, by policy, exactly once. The single review\nsession is described in surviving notes as \"comprehensive and final.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Directorate of Feedback was satisfied that all suggestions had been received\nand that no further box was required. The print depicts the box closed, which is\nhow it is best remembered.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525360480334,"sku":"SRD-058-B","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/archive-suggestion-box-print.webp?v=1791944668"},{"product_id":"archive-overtime-mug","title":"Issued Mug 044: Voluntary Overtime","description":"\u003cp\u003eA ceramic mug issued to participants in the Voluntary Overtime programme, glazed\nwith the departmental motto \"The Hours Are Their Own Reward.\" Capacity was deemed\nadequate. Morale was deemed present.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe programme was suspended after the Bureau of Hours was unable to confirm which\nof the recorded hours had in fact been voluntary. The mug is reproduced here in\nrecognition of the hours, however they were obtained.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525360513102,"sku":"SRD-044-H","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/archive-overtime-mug.webp?v=1791944654"},{"product_id":"archive-stapler-amnesty-pin","title":"Commemorative Pin: Stapler Amnesty","description":"\u003cp\u003eIssued to mark the Stapler Amnesty, a fourteen-day window during which staff could\nreturn Ministry staplers acquired in error, on loan, or for reasons since\nforgotten, without penalty or interview.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThree staplers were returned. The Office of Returned Equipment considers this a\nsuccess, having expected none. The pin commemorates the gesture rather than the\nresult.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525360545870,"sku":"SRD-103-S","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/archive-stapler-amnesty-pin.webp?v=1791944661"},{"product_id":"archive-moth-survey-tee","title":"Issued Garment 012-A: Annual Moth Survey","description":"\u003cp\u003eCommemorative field shirt marking the Annual Moth Survey, a recurring count whose\npurpose was never recorded and whose results were never published. The garment\noutlasted the survey by a comfortable margin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRetired from circulation when the Bureau of Recurring Counts was folded into an\noffice that does not count anything. Retained here for the record.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525360808014,"sku":"SRD-012-A","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/archive-moth-survey-tee.webp?v=1791944648"},{"product_id":"archive-census-of-chairs-tee","title":"Issued Garment 019-C: Census of Chairs","description":"\u003cp\u003eField shirt issued to enumerators of the Census of Chairs, a single-session count\nconducted across all Ministry floors to establish, once, how many chairs there\nwere. The figure arrived at has never been agreed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe count was contested by Facilities, which maintained a different number, and by\na third office which maintained there should be no chairs at all. Reproduced for\nthe Archive alongside the other surviving work of the Bureau of Recurring Counts.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525360840782,"sku":"SRD-019-C","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/archive-census-of-chairs-tee.webp?v=1791944607"},{"product_id":"archive-employee-of-month-pin","title":"Pin 036: Employee of the Month (Vacant)","description":"\u003cp\u003eA pin struck for the Employee of the Month, an award the Office of Recognition\nissued on schedule for eleven consecutive months without identifying a recipient.\nThe blank in the citation was, per procedure, left blank.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe programme was retired when it was observed that the award honoured the month\nrather than the employee. Reproduced for the Archive in recognition of the months,\neach of which is understood to have occurred.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525360939086,"sku":"SRD-036-R","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/archive-employee-of-month-pin.webp?v=1791944621"},{"product_id":"archive-warehouse-7-poster","title":"Commemorative Print: Warehouse 7","description":"\u003cp\u003eA print honouring Warehouse 7, the Ministry storage facility into which an\nunusual quantity of inventory has entered and from which an unusual quantity has\nnot returned. The building is structurally sound. The accounting is not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis release sold through its run before the run could be fully counted. The\ndiscrepancy has been logged and remains under reconciliation.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525361004622,"sku":"SRD-066-W","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/archive-warehouse-7-poster.webp?v=1791944676"},{"product_id":"archive-fire-drill-lanyard","title":"Issued Lanyard 028: Permanent Fire Drill","description":"\u003cp\u003eLanyard issued to staff designated as wardens during the Permanent Fire Drill, an\nexercise initiated as a precaution and never formally concluded. Wardens were\nasked to remain ready and to refrain from asking for how long.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eReproduced for the Archive after the Office of Continuous Preparedness confirmed,\nin writing, that it had nothing to confirm. The drill is believed to be ongoing.\nStaff are advised to remain calm in the usual amount.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525361922126,"sku":"SRD-028-F","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/archive-fire-drill-lanyard.webp?v=1791944635"},{"product_id":"archive-elevator-b-patch","title":"Patch 071: Elevator B","description":"\u003cp\u003eA patch issued to personnel authorised to ride Elevator B, which served a floor\nthat does not appear in the directory and was not described to those who pressed\nthe button. Riders were asked to report nothing they saw, and most complied.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAuthorisation has since lapsed and Elevator B no longer stops where it once did,\nor possibly stops there only. Reproduced for the Archive. The patch is not a key,\na pass, or an invitation.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525364052046,"sku":"SRD-071-E","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/archive-elevator-b-patch.webp?v=1791944614"},{"product_id":"archive-form-99b-poster","title":"Commemorative Print: Form 99-B","description":"\u003cp\u003eA print honouring Form 99-B, the form required to request the form required to\nwithdraw a request. It was completed correctly on at least one occasion, an event\nthe Bureau of Forms \u0026amp; Submissions still cites in training.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe form was withdrawn after a review found it could only be submitted by first\nsubmitting it. Reproduced for the Archive in tribute to everyone who reached the\nfinal field. The field was optional. It always had been.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525365100622,"sku":"SRD-099-B","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/archive-form-99b-poster.webp?v=1791944641"},{"product_id":"archive-excavation-lanyard","title":"Issued Lanyard 077: Excavation Detail, Warehouse 7","description":"\u003cp\u003eLanyard and clearance card issued to staff posted to the Vertical Inventory, the\nexcavation in the floor of Warehouse 7. The card reproduced here belongs to\n\u003cstrong\u003eSub-Clerk Thomas Wickes, Designation 7-G-1140\u003c\/strong\u003e, of the Excavation Detail.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSub-Clerk Wickes is the author of several items now held in Misfiled Inventory.\nHe is recorded as being in good standing, current on his filing, and one mile\nbelow the office that records it. The card was found at the rim. The holder was\nnot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eReproduced for the Archive at the holder's request, which arrived folded, by way\nof the shaft, and which the Archive has honoured in the only manner available to\nit: by remembering him here, where he can be located, while the detail continues\nto dig toward something the light is already counting down to.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525369622606,"sku":"SRD-077-E","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/archive-excavation-lanyard.webp?v=1791944629"}],"url":"https:\/\/unrelatedgoods.com\/collections\/archive.oembed","provider":"The Ministry of Unrelated Goods","version":"1.0","type":"link"}