{"title":"Misfiled Inventory","description":"\u003cp\u003eThese goods arrived without paperwork, were entered into the system incorrectly, or correspond to no recognised category. No attempt has been made to explain them. Acquisition constitutes acceptance of that condition.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"object-31-chair-uncounted","title":"Object 31: Chair, Uncounted","description":"\u003cp\u003eA wooden chair recovered in the course of the Census of Chairs. No count,\nconducted before or since, has included it. The chair is present. The figure is\nnot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is stored among the other chairs, from which it remains both indistinguishable\nand apart.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525360873550,"sku":"SRD-031-C","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/object-31-chair-uncounted.webp?v=1791944757"},{"product_id":"corridor-9-keychain","title":"Recovered Keychain: Corridor 9","description":"\u003cp\u003eA keychain recovered from a desk in Corridor 9, bearing four keys, none of which\ncorrespond to a door the Ministry can presently account for. The corridor itself\nappears on older plans and on no current one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe keys are retained on the understanding that they are decorative. The Ministry\nadvises against attempting to locate their matching locks, an activity it\ndescribes as \"previously discouraged.\"\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525360906318,"sku":"SRD-C9-K","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/corridor-9-keychain.webp?v=1791944701"},{"product_id":"object-18-wristwatch-slow","title":"Object 18: Wristwatch, Slow","description":"\u003cp\u003eA wristwatch that loses eleven minutes a day and has never been wound. It was\nreturned to the Ministry on two separate occasions by members of staff who could\nnot account for having it, and who declined to keep it a third time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is set once on intake and not adjusted thereafter. The eleven minutes are not\ncorrected. They are recorded.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525361954894,"sku":"SRD-018-W","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/object-18-wristwatch-slow.webp?v=1791944750"},{"product_id":"object-09-door-freestanding","title":"Object 9: Door, Freestanding","description":"\u003cp\u003eAn interior door and its frame, fully assembled and fitted to no wall. It is\nlocked, and the key is not on file. As the door opens onto the same room it\ncloses off, staff have been unable to agree which side is the inside, and the\nquestion is no longer raised.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is stored upright. No request to install it has been received, and none would\nbe approved.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525363232846,"sku":"SRD-009-D","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/object-09-door-freestanding.webp?v=1791944743"},{"product_id":"object-53-umbrella-unclaimed","title":"Object 53: Umbrella, Unclaimed","description":"\u003cp\u003eAn umbrella entered into Lost Property and held for the statutory ninety days\nagainst a claim that never came. It is dry, intact, and of a make the Sub-Office\ncannot source. No one recalls the weather that would have required it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe holding period has expired and no department has asked for it back. The Lost\nProperty Sub-Office notes that an unclaimed umbrella is, in its experience, the\nmost claimed thing of all, and that this one is the exception.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525364084814,"sku":"SRD-053-U","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/object-53-umbrella-unclaimed.webp?v=1791944772"},{"product_id":"object-04-tooth-not-yours","title":"Object 4: Tooth (Not Yours)","description":"\u003cp\u003eA single human tooth, recovered without explanation and matching no one currently\non file. It is intact, unremarkable, and has been examined more times than the\nmatter strictly warranted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is held as a single. No request for its return has been received. Were one\nreceived, it would not be honoured, on the grounds already noted.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525364117582,"sku":"SRD-004-T","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/object-04-tooth-not-yours.webp?v=1791944736"},{"product_id":"object-46-bulb-unlit","title":"Object 46: Bulb, Unlit","description":"\u003cp\u003eAn incandescent bulb, found in a stairwell. It has been logged as a fire risk.\nFacilities has been asked to accept responsibility for the risk and has declined\nto do so on each occasion the matter was raised.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe bulb is held pending a department willing to be accountable for it. None has\ncome forward.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525364150350,"sku":"SRD-046-L","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/object-46-bulb-unlit.webp?v=1791944764"},{"product_id":"object-62-cassette-unlabelled","title":"Object 62: Cassette, Unlabelled","description":"\u003cp\u003eAn unlabelled audio cassette. Its contents are approximately forty minutes of a\nroom in which nothing is said. The room has not been identified, and no effort to\nidentify it is currently scheduled.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe cassette is filed under correspondence. No reply is expected.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525364510798,"sku":"SRD-062-C","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/object-62-cassette-unlabelled.webp?v=1791944778"},{"product_id":"object-70-glove-left","title":"Object 70: Glove, Left","description":"\u003cp\u003eA single adult leather glove, left hand, that fits no member of staff who has\ntried it. It was recorded as warm at the time of intake. It is no longer\nmeasured.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe glove is held as a single. No right glove has been received, and the matter\nis not considered open.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525364936782,"sku":"SRD-070-G","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/object-70-glove-left.webp?v=1791944784"},{"product_id":"object-88-telephone-unanswered","title":"Object 88: Telephone, Unanswered","description":"\u003cp\u003eA rotary telephone that has rung on two occasions. In accordance with standing\npolicy, neither call was answered. No line serving the instrument has been\nidentified.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is retained in storage. Should it ring a third time, the policy will apply\nagain.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525365493838,"sku":"SRD-088-T","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/object-88-telephone-unanswered.webp?v=1791944798"},{"product_id":"notebook-incident-logging","title":"Notebook, Incident Logging (Ruled)","description":"\u003cp\u003eRuled field notebook formatted for the logging of incidents, with a dedicated\ncolumn for the official denial that each incident did not occur. Eighty pages.\nStitched binding. Sober cover.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRelease is pending review because a sample unit was returned already partially\ncompleted, and the entries are being assessed.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525365919822,"sku":"SRD-355-N","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/notebook-incident-logging.webp?v=1791944724"},{"product_id":"object-91-jar-sealed","title":"Object 91: Jar, Sealed","description":"\u003cp\u003eA sealed glass jar. The intake form lists its contents as air. The seal predates\nthe Ministry's own records and has not been tested, on the grounds that testing\nwould require opening it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is held sealed. The contents are accepted as described.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525366116430,"sku":"SRD-091-J","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/object-91-jar-sealed.webp?v=1791944805"},{"product_id":"object-95-luminance-logged","title":"Object 95: Luminance, Logged","description":"\u003cp\u003eA quantity of the green luminance recovered from the lower portion of the shaft\nin Warehouse 7, drawn off and held in a sealed vessel for study. It gives no\nheat. It casts no shadow it has not chosen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe light brightens and dims on a cycle too long and too even to be seen as\nmovement. The eye reports a steady glow. The instruments report a pulse. The two\naccounts have not been reconciled, and the office that would reconcile them is\nbelow grade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is held in storage and consulted rarely. What it is counting toward has not\nbeen entered on the intake form, on the grounds that the form does not have a\nfield for it yet.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525369262158,"sku":"SRD-095-L","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/object-95-luminance-logged.webp?v=1791944812"},{"product_id":"object-96-note-recovered","title":"Object 96: Note, Recovered From Depth","description":"\u003cp\u003eA single sheet of intake paper, folded small, recovered at the rim of the shaft\nin Warehouse 7. The hand is hurried and the lower third has been lost to water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe legible portion is reproduced here for the record:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cblockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDETAIL OF SIXTEEN STILL AT THE FACE. WATER COMING IN. THE GREEN GETS BRIGHTER\nWHEN WE STOP DIGGING SO WE DO NOT STOP. WE ARE NOT LOST WE KNOW EXACTLY WHERE\nWE ARE ONE MILE DOWN. PLEASE TELL SOMEONE ABOVE THE MINISTRY. 7-G-1140 SEND —\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe remainder is illegible. The note has been logged, filed under correspondence,\nand accepted as inventory. No office above the Ministry has been identified to\nforward it to.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ministry of Unrelated Goods","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44525370179662,"sku":"SRD-096-N","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0766\/0725\/8702\/files\/object-96-note-recovered.webp?v=1791944818"}],"url":"https:\/\/unrelatedgoods.com\/collections\/misfiled-inventory.oembed","provider":"The Ministry of Unrelated Goods","version":"1.0","type":"link"}