Office of the Chairman: A Commendation for the Founder, Filed in His Presence

Today the Ministry recognises Chairman Emeritus Cornelius Higgensworth, under whose founding authority the first goods were catalogued, contained, and — where records survive — released.

Staff had proposed a memorial. The Office wishes to correct the noun. This is a commendation, not a memorial. The distinction is not ceremonial. The Chairman attended the drafting of this notice, in the sense the Office is authorised to confirm, and objected to two adjectives, both of which have been removed.

The Ministry records the following, with gratitude and in order:

• The Chairman founded the department. The date is not agreed upon. He does not agree with it either.
• The Chairman built the filing system that later misfiled him. This is regarded internally as his finest work.
• The Chairman is honoured today, and expects to be honoured again, on a schedule he has not disclosed.

No wreath was laid. A wreath was drafted, reviewed, and returned to inventory as premature. Staff are asked to direct any tributes to the Office in writing, where they will be logged, initialled, and — should the initials appear — approved.

He founded the building. He retired from the building. The building has not, on any recorded occasion, retired from him.

He is well. He is not finished. He is watching the inventory.

— Office of the Chairman Emeritus