Field Notes BULLETIN 041-B/REV-3
New Public Release: Group 041-B Cleared for Civilian Wear
The Surplus Release Division is authorized to announce that Group 041-B, the first tranche of recovered Departmental Morale Garments, has been approved for public wear, effective immediately.
The garments originate with the Identification & Morale Program, a dissolved internal scheme that once issued a single identifying garment to every department then on the books. Under the Program, departmental designations (the text) and approved illustrations (the image) were requisitioned through separate offices and paired by serial position on arrival. No department selected its own illustration. No illustration was selected for its department. The pairings are, accordingly, final, official, and unrelated.
The eight garments cleared in this tranche:
- 041-B/01 — FINANCE DEPARTMENT · a marmot, balaclava, expression serious
- 041-B/02 — UNAUTHORIZED YOGURT · a cow in tiny sunglasses
- 041-B/03 — BUFFERING CHAMPION · a medieval knight holding a television remote
- 041-B/04 — REGIONAL MANAGER · a raccoon in a business suit
- 041-B/05 — NO REFUNDS · a dolphin smoking a pipe
- 041-B/06 — LEGAL REVIEW · a goose stationed beside a copier
- 041-B/07 — STAY LIQUID · a hot dog in a raincoat, weather-resistant, emotionally present
- 041-B/08 — COMPLIANCE TRAINING · a possum on a jet ski
Group 041-B failed civilian-handling review on two prior occasions. The first failure is sealed. The second concerned 041-B/07, whose emotional content a reviewer described as “more than expected.” The content has not been reduced. The reviewer has been reassigned.
Members of the public are reminded that each garment names a department that may or may not exist, that the illustration attached to that name was not chosen by it, and that no relationship between the two is implied, recorded, or available on request. Wearing a garment carries no obligation to explain it.
Group 041-B is filed under Issued Garments, where those cleared for civilian handling appear as they are released.
— Surplus Release Division