Surplus Release Division

Civilian Enrollment

FORM SRD-7 · Office of Civilian Records · Grade III — Provisional Civilian Member

Civilian Enrollment permits a member of the public to apply to be formally recorded as provisionally affiliated with the Ministry of Unrelated Goods. Applicants answer a short set of questions, pay a one-time application and processing fee, and — if the application is filed — are issued a packet of documents bearing several of their own answers. Enrollment is not employment, citizenship, clearance, or protection. It is an entry in a drawer.

The fee

Application & Processing Fee — one-time. To Be Scheduled.

A single fee, payable once. The amount is pending publication by a committee that has not yet convened. You will not be charged today — see the notice below — and the fee, once set, will be non-refundable regardless of outcome, including no outcome.

Payment cannot currently be accepted

  • The official authorized to receive funds on behalf of the Office of Civilian Records has not been appointed, has been reassigned, or cannot presently be located. Internal accounts differ.
  • Form SRD-7-P (Intake of Fees) is itself pending approval. The Ministry is not currently permitted to approve its own ability to accept payment, and the body that would review the matter has not yet been convened to review whether it should convene.
  • The Registry is, in the ordinary course of things, between authorizations. This condition is routine. It is also of indefinite duration.

What the application asks

  • Full name, as it is to appear on the record. Printed exactly as entered. The Ministry does not correct spelling and does not apologise for it.
  • Preferred designation. Citizen, Operative, Custodian, Correspondent, Person of Interest, or Designation Withheld. It implies nothing and entitles you to less.
  • Division to which you feel an unexplained loyalty. No justification is required and none will be read.
  • Stated reason for enrollment. Select the nearest. Exactness is neither expected nor believed.
  • One object in your possession with no clear purpose. Entered into the record as your Submitted Misfiled Item. It is not collected. It is merely noted.
  • Preferred method of correspondence. The Ministry reserves the right to use a different one, or none.

Leave a return address

Provide an address and you will be notified if and when the Ministry becomes able to accept your fee and issue your packet. The address is logged. It is not verified, ranked, or guaranteed to be read by a person. The register at the foot of every page takes it.